Last week, I was enjoying an outdoor art show and saw a friend in his 80s. He is lonely since his wife passed away last year and is struggling with mobility issues and looking after his two-storey home. Last winter he was exploring alternatives, so I was surprised to hear his comments: “I’m going to stay in my own home, no matter what! Especially now, I will never move.”

We met for coffee and chatted about what caused the change in his thinking. In a nutshell – the overwhelming fear he felt day after day as he watched television coverage of the COVID-19 pandemic and the reporting on tragic deaths in long-term care. Not surprisingly, these events have put a microscope on living choices for older people.

A survey last year by the National institute on Ageing at Ryerson University showed almost 70% of respondents aged 65 and over preferred to age in their own home. In recent dialogue with colleagues across North America, we expect the percentage is much higher.

Is it a realistic expectation to stay in your own home, no matter what? The truth is – it depends. Each person’s needs and wants are unique, with numerous factors that should influence their decision.

As a professional services company, Silver Sherpa provides customized planning and coordination services for older people in often complex situations. As independent advisors, we empower our clients through knowledge and planning to make their own choices. For those who wish to stay in their home, it is important to work through a process that helps them understand key factors such as:

• realistic care needs now, and in the future
• the perception that it is safer at home with care
• the overall cost of care, and who will manage the caregivers as needs increase, and
• working with financial and legal advisors on a comprehensive estate plan including how assets can pay for living costs, tax planning, and ensuring powers of attorneys and wills are in place.

In summary, making a stay or go decision should be based on a well thought out plan addressing current and future care needs, healthcare support, and an estate plan including financial and legal components.

Returning to that coffee conversation with my friend, he was kind enough to share some of the reasons why he and his friends do not want to try retirement living. Before you can change someone’s perspective, misconceptions need to be addressed. Here are a few:

1. The definition of ‘long-term care’ in Canada is confusing. Media reports on COVID-19 lumped Long-Term Care (LTC) facilities and retirement homes together when they are quite different.
   In the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) June 2020 Snapshot on Canada’s COVID-19 experience, they noted the data should be interpreted with ‘extreme caution’ due to ‘rapidly evolving case numbers and different definitions of LTC’ across Canada. Data is not defined and collected in a standardized way. The reported LTC data included both residential facilities with 24-hour nursing care and facilities with fewer services such as retirement homes and assisted-living facilities. This confusion created fear and misunderstanding. It is still difficult to find an understandable report that clearly explains the difference in outcomes between retirement homes and LTC homes.


2. Living in a retirement home is not safe during the COVID-19 pandemic.
   While it is true that some retirement communities had significant COVID-19 outbreaks during the early months of the pandemic, many responded quickly to protect their residents and staff. The RHRA confirms that 44.22% of retirement homes reported no COVID-19 outbreaks. For clients to gain understanding, it helps to break it down into parts. For example, when we are looking at retirement home options, we are focusing on well-managed communities with specific policies to address infection control. We encourage our clients to ask basic questions regarding outbreaks, staffing levels, staff education and infection control procedures, etc. Our best advice to clients? Seek first to understand and be willing to listen. Then you can make a well-informed decision on what you wish to do.


3. Retirement homes are too expensive.
   Sales consultants reading this article will smile as they routinely do cost comparisons of staying at home versus retirement living. To analyse further we also include the less tangible costs. Some examples are weighing the time and cost of a daughter travelling weekly to supplement care and meals for her parent; the time required to coordinate medical appointments and gather all the information in one accessible file; and the health benefits of joining a community rather than enduring social isolation.

Making a stay or go decision during a pandemic is challenging. As trusted advisors we are committed to providing independent planning advice to our clients. Misconceptions about retirement living need to be addressed before people can decide if it is a good option for them. We value open, honest discussions and remember, changing one misconception based on new and valid information is a superpower.